Thought Distillery

The jump rope – a simple yet dastardly instrument of exercise and destruction. For the first time since I was in middle school (whew – that link really took me back!), I innocently decided to jump rope this morning. For several years that wicked length of ankle-mangling plastic has somehow followed me from residence to residence always watching me from a distant corner. This morning I finally gave in to its persistent taunt, or perhaps I was too much of a wimp to step out in the cold to run – we’ll never know!

So I picked up my yellow and red striped friend and thought, “How innocent – this should be fun.” Then with Monkey Puzzle on the stereo I carefully began to swing the jump rope around. I cleared a few revolutions ok and then whap! My right ankle took its first blow. Realizing that I was a little rusty I pressed on. Flup, flup, flup, flup – whap! This time the left ankle received a lashing. Flup, flup…. flup…. whap! The back of my head really did not appreciate my choice of activities this morning. “I think this is the same jump rope that I got in middle school – perhaps its a wee bit too short for me now?” So I stood on one end of the rope and pulled the other to stretch things out a few inches. I don’t think it liked that. Over the next 15 minutes of hop, skip, and jumping around, the rope proceeded to not only whip me with a vengeance but it also unleashed its evil ways upon various items perched upon the coffee table, counter top, and bookcase. Out of breath and severely damaged, I conceded and sent the demonic thing back to its dark closet. Some day I will seek retribution. Some day the rope will be conquered!