U.S. Changes Motto

Posted on June 29th, 2004 in Amusements.

This just in, hot off The Onion presses:

U.S. Changes Motto To ‘America… We’re Gonna Make Ya Smile’
WASHINGTON, DC—After a focus group determined “In God We Trust” to be “boring,” the U.S. introduced a new motto Monday: “America… We’re Gonna Make Ya Smile.” “We feel the new motto projects a more playful image for the nation,” State Department spokesman Marlon Harris said. “This new slogan tells the world that America Is Fun Country.” Harris added that “E Pluribus Unum” will be replaced on all currency with “U.S. Fever—Catch It!”

I’ve got one to suggest. How about “In Bush We Jest”? After this doofus is out of office, we’re going to have to do all we can to apologize and grovel before the world to make up for this administration’s meddling.

 

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4 responses

  1. Wise Fool says:

    Added on June 30th, 2004 at 1:45 pm

    Utoh. Now we’ve gone political. I agree that I don’t want Bush for Pres again but I can’t seem to convince myself that I want to vote for Kerry. I guess we are just going to end up with the lesser of the two weasels. Anyway back to ‘America.. We’re Gonna Make Ya Smile’. What bothers me about this is they don’t say that it’s a good smile. They could be laughing at us with that smile, or just smiling the way the doctors smile at the inmates at the local mental institution. So let’s change it to ‘America…DOH!’ After all isn’t there a little Homer Simpson in all of us?

  2. Scott says:

    Added on June 30th, 2004 at 1:51 pm

    Good point, Wise Fool. I’m sure that many countries smile to the U.S.’s face only to turn around and curse its policies. You smile to the hated bully only because you don’t want to be beat up.

  3. Katie says:

    Added on July 1st, 2004 at 9:12 am

    I like both your slogans! Homer Simpson-esque ignorant snafus are definitely in abundance these days. Yet, Homer has a kind of lovable oafness to him, and I harbor no love for our Commander-in-Oaf. How can I when there’s so much Mr. Burns wickedness lurking behind the dumb guy front man?

  4. Scott says:

    Added on July 1st, 2004 at 3:55 pm

    I agree that Bush is very much a Homer Oaf. However, while he certainly wields the power I don’t think that he himself has the evil of Mr. Burns. The evil I fear is much more dangerous as it eminates from all the henchmen who can carry out their foul plots using the stumbling oaf’s power as they see fit. Acting behind the scenes, these evil Smithers are apt to do more diabolical deeds than if they were more public figures themselves. Don’t believe that I’m defending GW though. A fool misusing his power is still bad poison no matter how good or misguided his intentions may be.

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