Thought Distillery

After several years of curiosity and controversy, I finally found and purchased my first durian - nicknamed King of the Fruits. I bicycled home with a giddy smile on my face and the 5 pound durian tucked under my arm in a cardboard box. Had I been pulled over, I probably would have been incited for carrying a concealed weapon for this fruit looks more like an instrument of battle or torture than something you’d want to eat. (I wonder if a game of rugby has ever been played with a durian as the ball? Rugby players seem to be the masochist type.) Anyway, once home I waited patiently over the next 6 hours whilst my durian thawed out all the while gradually filling my apartment with more and more of its (lovely?) perfume.

Finally at about midnight I decided it was time. Though the durian put up a good fight, it was no match for my razor sharp buck knife. I cut through it and scooped out the still chilled custardy goodness inside each of its 5 nodes. At about this time, the aroma was quite intense and I’m sure my neighbors were wondering what had died next door. With great anticipation, I dived into the bowl of custard and was happy to find the flavor to be as I remembered when I sampled a bit months ago. Unfortunately the experience didn’t end up nearly as positive. I’m not exactly sure what the problem was, but after a few bites I just couldn’t eat anymore without the gag reflex kicking in. The flavor was good, but perhaps it was the overwhelming smell that had filled the room? Also my mouth didn’t seem to like the membranous ‘pudding skin’ texture that covered the creamy part of the fruit. I tried to eat more, but I failed! The durian did not fail me, for it was good. I had failed the durian! Sheepishly, I wrapped up all the stinking remains and hauled it out to the dumpster. Perhaps another time, and another place I will be ready for its royalty.