For a few weeks now I’ve been eyeballing the gingerbread house kit in the bakery window next door. Sadly, I cannot recall ever building edible gingerbread structures as a child (or as an adult). Coincidentally, none other than the Urban Locust has had similar thoughts. So the other night we decided that something would have to be done next winter about this childhood emptiness.
Today on the way home from work I was thinking about how I would make my gingerbread house. Then I thought, “Screw the gingerbread house!” “If I’m gonna do this then I’m gonna Go Big!” So now I’m thinking more along the lines of gingerbread castle, (maybe with a cathedral?) complete with gingerbread knights, horses, maidens, peasants, and perhaps even a dragon. Then once the peaceful and happy gingerbread kingdom is all decked out with its delightful frostings, sweet gumdrops, and striped candy canes along shall come its doom! For as certain as I am that my name is Scott, there shall appear a mean and ugly giant with an unsatiable appetite for gingerbread. Oh the poor peasants! They shall run in a fearful panic, but only to their destruction as the giant scoops each one up and greedily nibbles off each appendage before devouring their crumbling bodies. Even the brave gingerbread knights will be no match for the crushing blows and chomping teeth dealt to them. When the massacre is over and a deathly silence fills the air, the giant will then focus his attention on the castle itself. Nothing will be spared by the mercilless beast! Yes, for the gingerbread kingdom the fates see such a short-lived splendour followed by a tragic end. As for that giant – a fun and sweet future indeed awaits!